It is Saturday. The day between the cross and the resurrection. Imagine Mary. The Sabbath calling her to pray and worship when all she feels is disappointment. He wasn't suppose to die. I thought he was the Messiah. Did she know that she was waiting? Or did it feel more like grief? I can only imagine that she felt pretty hopeless. The man she placed so much hope in has died the death of a criminal. Or is it me? Am I the one who feels hopeless? Where is my faith?

Then I know. It is me. I am not Mary. I am one of the disciples who flee the scene from fear and doubt. I don't stand at the cross until the end. And I definitely don't follow Joseph to the tomb. Mary, even in the midst of her sadness, hoped and believed. She still rested on the Sabbath. She made spices and perfumes to anoint Jesus' body. She did not leave Him. In her despair she stayed in the unknown of the waiting.

On this Holy Saturday I want to learn to have faith in the waiting. To stay in it and trust. Even in the mystery of Christ and the story He is writing in the world and in my life. I don't have all the answers. But I do have the one answer I need to stay. He loves me even when I don't believe.

O God, I believe. Help me in my unbelief!