Every time I have one of these days I sing in my head (and sometimes out loud): "mama said there would be days like this..." This morning my 6 year old would not get dressed and decided that she would fight me tooth and nail to get on her clothes. As a result we did not have time to put her hair in ponytails. You would have thought no ponytails in her hair equaled to being stung by a thousand bumble bees. We exchanged words in the car (to put it nicely). A pull-over one street over followed with my long, skinny pointer finger coming out waving as hard as it could muster. 10 punishments later, we pulled into the school where tears were still flowing from the fact that her hair was un-ponytailed. Walking through the halls, I felt so much shame in allowing my daughter to cry and show her sadness (aka anger). Not trying to fix it was very hard for this Mom who likes to portray that she is pretty awesome. I got back in the car and breathed in the stale milk air deeply and then did all I knew how to do: cry for help. My prayer went something like this: God, give me mercy. I don't know how to do this. Am I screwing my children up? Am I really a terrible mother? How do I discipline over & over yet still show them love & grace? I give up.

Then I realized that this was where God wanted me to be... helpless, yet knowing that He can help. And I have to admit, I was sort of mad at Him about it. I didn't want to be helpless. I wanted to be strong. To know the right answers. To be the perfect Mother. To have it all together. But guess what- I don't. Not even close to it. So, I will say that prayer over & over for the rest of my life... God, give me mercy. God, give me mercy.

Can you imagine this beauty giving me such grief????